(Written 8/31/11 by ChristopherK2 for the Nice Marylanders Over 35 Blog)
Investment guru Warren Buffet made the news headlines recently for investing $5 billion in Bank of America, and because shortly thereafter one part of that investment went up by $350 million in *one* day.
What's NOT known until now is MY role in all of that. So, y'all are the very first to know.
I've long been one of many "ordinary people" Warren talks to a couple of times a year in order to "keep his fingers on the pulse of America." Well, that's the way one of his stooges explained it to me years ago. We talk for about 15 minutes, and he usually just asks my general views about the economy, and sometimes about particular sectors.
I just recently figured out that all of us are considered "ordinary Idiots." Harumph! It turns out that ol' Warren likes to know what the common folk do, and then he does the *opposite* and makes a fortune.
I realized that looking back on our chats after the recent Bank of America deal. In our most recent chat before that he had asked me, seemingly innocently, what I thought of the banking sector. I replied, "Warren, banking is sooooooo last Tuesday. I and everyone I know has been dumping all of their bank stocks."
Now, I feel so used.
But I have a plan. Of course...
The next time I chat with ol' Warren, I plan on giving him a "hot tip" on buying or selling some stock, and then I will do just the opposite myself. That way, I'll become stinkin' rich when Warren does the same thing. HA!!!
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Saturday, August 27, 2011
"Who Knew???"
Brought to the attention of the ladies as a public service by ChristopherK2, 8/27/11...
"A 26-year-old woman is recovering from a ruptured breast implant after taking a shot to the chest during a Saturday round of paintballing.
"The woman, who has not been named, thought she was experiencing heavy bruising, but when she paid a visit to her doctor on Monday, it was discovered that her silicone breast had, in fact, exploded."
more at...
"A 26-year-old woman is recovering from a ruptured breast implant after taking a shot to the chest during a Saturday round of paintballing.
"The woman, who has not been named, thought she was experiencing heavy bruising, but when she paid a visit to her doctor on Monday, it was discovered that her silicone breast had, in fact, exploded."
more at...
British Woman Shot in Chest with Paintball Suffers Breast Implant Blowout
Thursday, August 25, 2011
"Dead Cats and Hot Blond Babe Cops"
(Written 8/25/11 by ChristopherK2 for the Nice MDers Over 35 Blog)
I'm guessing that you've seldom seen Dead Cats and Hot Blond Babe Cops mentioned together. So, a short story, then a few questions.
The Story
Last night, I answered the door and was met by not one, but TWO, Hot Blond Babe Cops. And there was a Guy Cop in the background.
They were there just to ask me about a Dead Black Cat on my sidewalk. Say what??? They had seen the car accident that killed the cat. No, *I* don't own one, I said. (I wanted to say that I personally HATE cats, but these were Hot Blond Babes, so I didn't want to say anything negative.) I volunteered to ask a pet lover neighbor about local cats, and they asked for a shovel while I was off to my neighbor's.
By the time I returned, all of the cops were gone, and the Dead Black Cat had been moved from my sidewalk to the grass strip between the sidewalk and the street. My front door was still wide open, which minorly pissed me off.
A Few Questions
1. When Guy Cops are at my door, I get all paranoid wondering: WTF *I* did, whether they're going to Rodney King me, and just how long I'll be in jail. With Hot Blond Babe cops, I tend to flash on Playboy centerfolds. Is this normal?
2. Who actually picked up and moved the Dead Black Cat? Was it the Guy Cop, asserting his Male Superiority? Or was it one of the Hot Blond Babe cops, asserting her whatever they assert? Or did they flip coins and the Loser got the job?
3. I don't know much about traditional superstitions, but does a Dead Black Cat first on a *crack* in my sidewalk and then a few feet away in the grass strip mean that I can NEVER EVER walk anywhere near that area again in my entire life? Should I post warning signs for the many passersby? Something like, "Dead Black Cat Crossing"?
4. What's the best approach to impress a Hot Blond Babe Cop? I tend to get all "Yes, ma'am" and stuff around women in uniforms who carry large guns, nightsticks, and can surely beat my ass to a bloody pulp. But I guess I could fake anything for a few minutes.
5. The cops called "animal control" and I did so again this morning. Should I have done something else? I keep beating back images starting with a barbeque grill. ugggh...
I'm guessing that you've seldom seen Dead Cats and Hot Blond Babe Cops mentioned together. So, a short story, then a few questions.
The Story
Last night, I answered the door and was met by not one, but TWO, Hot Blond Babe Cops. And there was a Guy Cop in the background.
They were there just to ask me about a Dead Black Cat on my sidewalk. Say what??? They had seen the car accident that killed the cat. No, *I* don't own one, I said. (I wanted to say that I personally HATE cats, but these were Hot Blond Babes, so I didn't want to say anything negative.) I volunteered to ask a pet lover neighbor about local cats, and they asked for a shovel while I was off to my neighbor's.
By the time I returned, all of the cops were gone, and the Dead Black Cat had been moved from my sidewalk to the grass strip between the sidewalk and the street. My front door was still wide open, which minorly pissed me off.
A Few Questions
1. When Guy Cops are at my door, I get all paranoid wondering: WTF *I* did, whether they're going to Rodney King me, and just how long I'll be in jail. With Hot Blond Babe cops, I tend to flash on Playboy centerfolds. Is this normal?
2. Who actually picked up and moved the Dead Black Cat? Was it the Guy Cop, asserting his Male Superiority? Or was it one of the Hot Blond Babe cops, asserting her whatever they assert? Or did they flip coins and the Loser got the job?
3. I don't know much about traditional superstitions, but does a Dead Black Cat first on a *crack* in my sidewalk and then a few feet away in the grass strip mean that I can NEVER EVER walk anywhere near that area again in my entire life? Should I post warning signs for the many passersby? Something like, "Dead Black Cat Crossing"?
4. What's the best approach to impress a Hot Blond Babe Cop? I tend to get all "Yes, ma'am" and stuff around women in uniforms who carry large guns, nightsticks, and can surely beat my ass to a bloody pulp. But I guess I could fake anything for a few minutes.
5. The cops called "animal control" and I did so again this morning. Should I have done something else? I keep beating back images starting with a barbeque grill. ugggh...
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
New Room!
AOL reset the chat rooms this morning and, unfortunately, the Zombies got it back.
So, we've created a new room in the Romance Channel. It's...
Romance - EastCoastChat
Hope to see you there!
Christopher
So, we've created a new room in the Romance Channel. It's...
Romance - EastCoastChat
Hope to see you there!
Christopher
Monday, August 22, 2011
"No, I Don't Do THAT"
(Written 8/22/11 by ChristopherK2 for the Nice MDers Over 35 Blog)
MzTeach's earlier comments about playing with tigers gave me a flashback to the early years in my life insurance career.
Life insurance companies are, of course, interested in your health history, age, vital stats, and such when you apply for life insurance. But they're also interested in your activities. So they ask about "hazardous activities" such as mountain climbing, sky diving, hot air ballooning, and bungee jumping.
I never thought much about those until I later studied the background statistics for them as part of a course. Wow, people die a LOT MORE often from that kind of stuff than "normal" people do! So, I resolved then to never EVER engage in ANY activity that life insurance companies ask about. (Well, except smoking cigs, of course.)
I've never seen a life insurance application that asked, "Have you in the last five years rolled around in the dirt just for giggles with a tiger, cheetah, lion or other Big Cat, or do you intend to do so within the next two years?" But I think I know how life insurance companies would react, so I won't do THAT.
As to other types of hazardous activities that might concern life insurance companies, I "hear" that they constantly check YouTube for the latest... hmmm... well, "Stupid Human Stuff." One that a buddy in the industry recently sent me is this jewel:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oeJjzdlTuI
I just hope their life and health insurance rates are a LOT higher than mine.
MzTeach's earlier comments about playing with tigers gave me a flashback to the early years in my life insurance career.
Life insurance companies are, of course, interested in your health history, age, vital stats, and such when you apply for life insurance. But they're also interested in your activities. So they ask about "hazardous activities" such as mountain climbing, sky diving, hot air ballooning, and bungee jumping.
I never thought much about those until I later studied the background statistics for them as part of a course. Wow, people die a LOT MORE often from that kind of stuff than "normal" people do! So, I resolved then to never EVER engage in ANY activity that life insurance companies ask about. (Well, except smoking cigs, of course.)
I've never seen a life insurance application that asked, "Have you in the last five years rolled around in the dirt just for giggles with a tiger, cheetah, lion or other Big Cat, or do you intend to do so within the next two years?" But I think I know how life insurance companies would react, so I won't do THAT.
As to other types of hazardous activities that might concern life insurance companies, I "hear" that they constantly check YouTube for the latest... hmmm... well, "Stupid Human Stuff." One that a buddy in the industry recently sent me is this jewel:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oeJjzdlTuI
I just hope their life and health insurance rates are a LOT higher than mine.
Friday, August 19, 2011
"Least Favorite Ways of Dying"
(Written 8/19/11 by ChristopherK2 for the Nice MDers Over 35 Blog)
I started thinking about that topic when I was watching a TV special about Big Cats. (I watch ANYTHING about them). It wasn't content with the usual "Big Cat Chases Down Dinner" bit, which is always fascinating. It went on to "Big Cats Chewing on Dinner." That was bad enough, but the Dinner was still alive and struggling to get away. The Big Cats meanwhile were chewing away like I would on a chicken drumstick.
Ugggh... but there aren't any Big Cats in Hagerspatch, so I really don't have to worry about that one. We DO have lots of feral cats and I *have* been looking at them a bit differently since that show.
So now my NEW least favorite way of dying is another current headline... "Brain-Eating Amoebas"! Ewwwwwwww... I *love* my brain!!!
Then there was the other recent headline about a groom getting killed on his honeymoon by a SHARK. Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckk! This, right after another of my TV favs... "Shark Week" on the Discovery channel.
Soooooooooo, stroking out while mowing the lawn is starting to look prettttttttttty good right now. And I guess I should STOP watching nature stuff on TV and reading CNN headlines for awhile. I mean, what's next, "Mutant Goldfish Maul Bambi"??? My neighbor HAS goldfish!!!
I started thinking about that topic when I was watching a TV special about Big Cats. (I watch ANYTHING about them). It wasn't content with the usual "Big Cat Chases Down Dinner" bit, which is always fascinating. It went on to "Big Cats Chewing on Dinner." That was bad enough, but the Dinner was still alive and struggling to get away. The Big Cats meanwhile were chewing away like I would on a chicken drumstick.
Ugggh... but there aren't any Big Cats in Hagerspatch, so I really don't have to worry about that one. We DO have lots of feral cats and I *have* been looking at them a bit differently since that show.
So now my NEW least favorite way of dying is another current headline... "Brain-Eating Amoebas"! Ewwwwwwww... I *love* my brain!!!
Then there was the other recent headline about a groom getting killed on his honeymoon by a SHARK. Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckk! This, right after another of my TV favs... "Shark Week" on the Discovery channel.
Soooooooooo, stroking out while mowing the lawn is starting to look prettttttttttty good right now. And I guess I should STOP watching nature stuff on TV and reading CNN headlines for awhile. I mean, what's next, "Mutant Goldfish Maul Bambi"??? My neighbor HAS goldfish!!!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
"That Was 25 Years Ago???"
(Written 8-17-11 by ChristopherK2 for the Nice Marylanders Over 35 Blog)
I was watching one of my fav movies, "Top Gun," the other night and they noted it was the movie's 25th anniversary.
I about spilled my root beer! 25 years?!?!?!?! I would've guessed maybe 10. 15 tops. But 25??? Lordy... Time sure does seem to fly when you're old and have a crappy memory.
Later, I thought back to that time, mid-1986. What was I doing then, and how much has my life changed? Just a few high-lowlights:
Back then... I was still semi-happily married with two stepsons! That ended two years later, and I haven't since remarried nor have I ever had any children of my own. Bleeh...
My career as a consulting attorney to insurance companies was going full blast. It too would end a little later. Am I sensing a trend?
Less than a year later I would turn the Big 4-0, thereby officially ending my chances to become starting quarterback for the Colts, an astronaut, and President of the U.S. ... My childhood dreams were all dead. Yep, a clear trend. "Top Gun" caused all of my misery at that time!
Back then... my mom was still a vigorous 66 (just two years older than I am now), and my brother was just 42. We were ALL sooooooooooo much younger, and full of ourselves and about our futures.
Back then... I was still in pretty good physical shape, mainly from coaching my stepsons in basketball, baseball, and soccer. Now I garden...
The World News was generally awful: The Space Shuttle Challenger blew up. The nuclear reactor at Chernobyl blew up. Pan Am Flight 73 was hijacked by Terrorists. The Iran-Contra affair blew up in our faces. Lots of blowing up that year...
But still... I'd far rather be here in my place and doing what I now do, than back then. I feel like I'm home now, and very relaxed and happy.
I was watching one of my fav movies, "Top Gun," the other night and they noted it was the movie's 25th anniversary.
I about spilled my root beer! 25 years?!?!?!?! I would've guessed maybe 10. 15 tops. But 25??? Lordy... Time sure does seem to fly when you're old and have a crappy memory.
Later, I thought back to that time, mid-1986. What was I doing then, and how much has my life changed? Just a few high-lowlights:
Back then... I was still semi-happily married with two stepsons! That ended two years later, and I haven't since remarried nor have I ever had any children of my own. Bleeh...
My career as a consulting attorney to insurance companies was going full blast. It too would end a little later. Am I sensing a trend?
Less than a year later I would turn the Big 4-0, thereby officially ending my chances to become starting quarterback for the Colts, an astronaut, and President of the U.S. ... My childhood dreams were all dead. Yep, a clear trend. "Top Gun" caused all of my misery at that time!
Back then... my mom was still a vigorous 66 (just two years older than I am now), and my brother was just 42. We were ALL sooooooooooo much younger, and full of ourselves and about our futures.
Back then... I was still in pretty good physical shape, mainly from coaching my stepsons in basketball, baseball, and soccer. Now I garden...
The World News was generally awful: The Space Shuttle Challenger blew up. The nuclear reactor at Chernobyl blew up. Pan Am Flight 73 was hijacked by Terrorists. The Iran-Contra affair blew up in our faces. Lots of blowing up that year...
But still... I'd far rather be here in my place and doing what I now do, than back then. I feel like I'm home now, and very relaxed and happy.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
"Gunsmoke Reruns"
(Written 8/16/11 by ChristopherK2 for the Nice Marylanders Over 35 Blog)
I've recently taken to watching reruns of that ancient tv western series, "Gunsmoke," while eating lunch. It's a fine series, and I like the characters, actors, and even the plots (based on the Boy Scout Laws, near as I can tell).
But I watch them mainly because I've run out of better ideas. I've gone thru many seasons of DVD's of my fav series. But at the rate of one or two episodes a day, I went thru them quickly. That won't be a problem with "Gunsmoke," of course, because of its 300+ episodes in syndication.
I also have to fill the dinner hour and the weekends. I've run thru most everything for those slots.
I've heard that Netflix is good for that, but it sounds complicated to hook up as far as downloading them off the internet. And their mail-in thing seems like a hassle.
So, if anyone has any comments or suggestions, I'd sure appreciate them.
Christopher
I've recently taken to watching reruns of that ancient tv western series, "Gunsmoke," while eating lunch. It's a fine series, and I like the characters, actors, and even the plots (based on the Boy Scout Laws, near as I can tell).
But I watch them mainly because I've run out of better ideas. I've gone thru many seasons of DVD's of my fav series. But at the rate of one or two episodes a day, I went thru them quickly. That won't be a problem with "Gunsmoke," of course, because of its 300+ episodes in syndication.
I also have to fill the dinner hour and the weekends. I've run thru most everything for those slots.
I've heard that Netflix is good for that, but it sounds complicated to hook up as far as downloading them off the internet. And their mail-in thing seems like a hassle.
So, if anyone has any comments or suggestions, I'd sure appreciate them.
Christopher
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
"Major vs. Minor Stupidity"
(Written 8/1/11 by ChristopherK2 for the Nice Marylanders Over 35 blog)
An old saying goes something like, "We are all stupid for five minutes a day. Wisdom consists of not exceeding that limit."
I've always thought that a bit simplistic because it doesn't distinguish between levels of stupidity. Shouldn't a major stupidity count, say, five times as much as a minor one?
I'm sure you're asking yourself... Minor? Major? Huh?
Examples of minor stupidities include spilling bleach on a shirt, arriving at work two hours late just for giggles, putting salt in your freshwater fish tank, and lusting after one of Zeeke's Zombies.
Pretty bad, huh? But there's worse, FAR worse, my friends. Here's the sad, sad story of my most recent Major Stupidity.
My fiancee, Pamela, and I were about to head to the local swimming pool for the afternoon. She came out of the bathroom dressed in a lovely new two-piece swimming suit. She twirled to model it and asked me those words every guy dreads hearing, "Does this make my ass look fat?"
I thought back to how well I was prepared for this moment, all the training over my life from various women, the long discussions about it with other men, and...
Then she said "Well???" Apparently I had been fondly recalling my preparations without ever actually saying the word, and was just sitting there with that Dead Trout Look. I quickly blurted out "NO!!!" But it was way too late; I was toast.
Her quick "That's IT??? Just a 'No'?" started me sweating heavily.
At this point I was only in Minor Stupidity territory. But I then forgot another old adage ("When you've dug yourself into a hole, the first rule is 'Stop Digging'"). So I quickly moved into Major Stupidity level.
When under stress, I often go into Hyperbole Mode. So I spewed out, "Sorry dear, I was just mesmerized by your mounting glory of a derriere."
I might as well have kicked her dog. She went into THAT look that says "You ain't getting ANY anytime soon!" and snarled, "You think my ass looks like a Mounting Glory?!?!?!?"
In hindsight, it was really a lot like watching Eddie Murray go after a high fast ball. But at the time, I had other concerns. I had nowhere to go and nothing worthwhile to say. So I apologized profusely and promised to buy her some very expensive chocolate.
We eventually made it to the swimming pool and just to rub my nose in it, every time she headed to the diving board--as she walked away--she wiggled her butt a bit and tugged the bottom of her suit over the non-existent flab.
She's a size 6-8 and so has a delightful butt. And I'm sometimes Majorly Stupid.
I would, however, appreciate any help y'all can provide. It would be great if each of you emailed her at PamelasAssDoesNOTLookFatInThat@aol.com with some kind words. And Guys, please add something disgusting like "I want to do you right HERE, right NOW" so I look like comparatively less of a pig. Thanks...
Oh, and I have the same question for y'all that Pamela had for me on the way home from the pool: What the heck is a "mounting glory"??? I hate it when random neurons fire in the deep recesses of my brain.
An old saying goes something like, "We are all stupid for five minutes a day. Wisdom consists of not exceeding that limit."
I've always thought that a bit simplistic because it doesn't distinguish between levels of stupidity. Shouldn't a major stupidity count, say, five times as much as a minor one?
I'm sure you're asking yourself... Minor? Major? Huh?
Examples of minor stupidities include spilling bleach on a shirt, arriving at work two hours late just for giggles, putting salt in your freshwater fish tank, and lusting after one of Zeeke's Zombies.
Pretty bad, huh? But there's worse, FAR worse, my friends. Here's the sad, sad story of my most recent Major Stupidity.
My fiancee, Pamela, and I were about to head to the local swimming pool for the afternoon. She came out of the bathroom dressed in a lovely new two-piece swimming suit. She twirled to model it and asked me those words every guy dreads hearing, "Does this make my ass look fat?"
I thought back to how well I was prepared for this moment, all the training over my life from various women, the long discussions about it with other men, and...
Then she said "Well???" Apparently I had been fondly recalling my preparations without ever actually saying the word, and was just sitting there with that Dead Trout Look. I quickly blurted out "NO!!!" But it was way too late; I was toast.
Her quick "That's IT??? Just a 'No'?" started me sweating heavily.
At this point I was only in Minor Stupidity territory. But I then forgot another old adage ("When you've dug yourself into a hole, the first rule is 'Stop Digging'"). So I quickly moved into Major Stupidity level.
When under stress, I often go into Hyperbole Mode. So I spewed out, "Sorry dear, I was just mesmerized by your mounting glory of a derriere."
I might as well have kicked her dog. She went into THAT look that says "You ain't getting ANY anytime soon!" and snarled, "You think my ass looks like a Mounting Glory?!?!?!?"
In hindsight, it was really a lot like watching Eddie Murray go after a high fast ball. But at the time, I had other concerns. I had nowhere to go and nothing worthwhile to say. So I apologized profusely and promised to buy her some very expensive chocolate.
We eventually made it to the swimming pool and just to rub my nose in it, every time she headed to the diving board--as she walked away--she wiggled her butt a bit and tugged the bottom of her suit over the non-existent flab.
She's a size 6-8 and so has a delightful butt. And I'm sometimes Majorly Stupid.
I would, however, appreciate any help y'all can provide. It would be great if each of you emailed her at PamelasAssDoesNOTLookFatInThat@aol.com with some kind words. And Guys, please add something disgusting like "I want to do you right HERE, right NOW" so I look like comparatively less of a pig. Thanks...
Oh, and I have the same question for y'all that Pamela had for me on the way home from the pool: What the heck is a "mounting glory"??? I hate it when random neurons fire in the deep recesses of my brain.
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